I want to lose control.
Not just of my life,
but also of my soul,
I'm tired of the strife.
Striving to maintain,
this grip on the whole,
is driving me insane,
I want to lose control.
As pride hits a lull,
clarity crystallizes clearly,
I want to lose control,
especially what I hold so dearly.
I want to lose control,
like my need to do alone,
as if divinity I could cajole.
by a heartless driven groan.
Then it can grow more,
than my hands can hold.
Lovelier than before,
when it was so controlled.
This life of mine, not really so,
I still want to lose control.
I'm still learning how to let go,
from this place which I stole.
See, no victory can console,
the truth I already know.
I am not really in control,
I just like to convince myself so.
So when I'm done with my game,
and given the dice a final roll,
maybe I'll move past my shame,
and know Christ is really in control.
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