Ruthless Lover

This ruthless lover
in pursuit of the prize
longing for true embrace with
one dead to love's advances

Loveless utterly fails
to describe heartless
unresponsiveness given
ceaseless caring caress

After all, alone inside, to hide
this darkness, tears must stay
as this jealous lover stands
holding me firmly, waiting

Then in a moment of greatest weakness
maybe of desire, longing for some touch
looking at these hands of this,
my lover, why do I notice so seldom

patiently, tenderly having always
held this struggling soul who
would otherwise just run away
into the arms of another lesser

this lover still waits to captivate my soul
in ways mere mortals merely marvel
I know, I've experienced before
why wait, why hesitate, my hate of me

this lover who loves
and would love me so,
my heart wilts because of,
for not being what I should be,

this lover gives, has given all for me
but what have I, so I withhold
this my ultimate rejection
the last thing I control

suddenly a hand grasps me firmly
turning me to face fully the blazing fury
of this lover's eyes and feel the truth
of my foolish game and sad lies

a thunderous voice echoes
throughout the night into forever
"It is finished." Oh, this great Master
our Lord, my Savior, Christ, the Almighty.

Jesus is a ruthless lover.

're-mind-ed'

Once I was wild eyed
unstoppable with passion
awakened at four AM
by dreams that played on
while my eyes where open
seeing what is meant to be
drives the very soul depths

But I forget and slip
whether the brokenness
of my body, or my mind
or my longing heart
is at fault for my many
failures matters not

the pain of each remains still
yet as a mere mortal man stood
on a stage of wood saying
what he was praying
for the long season
that had dried
and cracked
this being
I thought
yeah
sure
yet
I
knew
this God
he's talking to
this hope offered
this love given freely
this truth and life and Way
here inside me the Spirit stirs

Christ commands commitment
never have I left His hand, even...
especially, when I have tried myself
here, found condemned again as always

I remember;
pain, failures, wasted time without effort;
my pride, my arrogance, my hurts,
my temptations and desires, my fears
I own these too much and they own me much more

I remember;
the past, who I was and too often am;
the present, who I am and too often aren't;
the future, who I am supposed to be becoming... but, stop short for me, for myself.

I am suddenly 're-minded':
the most important thing in this world-
I don't matter as much as what Jesus has done and is doing in this world.

Christ reminds me:
He spoke this existence into being
knowing I'd be here typing these
words that so poorly capture
what redemption is about.

Christ reminds me:
There will be a time when pain
and hurt and frustration are no more
because He will stop their causes, but
for now sin and death are allowed... allowed to continue in this world... but that they should not continue in my life and relationship with Him.

Christ reminds me:
He has saved me from sin and death by His love and mercy alone, not by anything I have or will ever do, yet He calls me deeper to walk, to live, to exist in Him, in Him alone, by faith alone.

I look away from these many things toward Him, they seem to hurt much less now.

Christ reminds me:
He awoke me from death in the first place, He gave me that flaming passion to see a world of men who followed Him like they were meant to, who lead their families and their friends and their communities like they were meant to.

Christ reminds me, those wild eyes were for Him, that passion burned from His Spirit for His Glory... worship ensues and so it does again.

That man's amen wasn't in vain and neither will this moment at 4am be.

I haven't forgotten, nor have I remembered, Christ 're-minds' me.

a cool drink of water indeed
a fire for my soul as well
quenching my thirst
meant burning
me whole
leaving
only an
ember